Love: Even When It’s Hard –

Girl drama. Uhgg. We get so upset over the most petty things. Lately I feel as though I’m tip-toeing across a wooden floor, praying the planks don’t give way and expose me with their constant creaking. I’m tense and worried and praying for peace.

A close friend bursts out in jealous accusations and, the truth is, it pains me a great deal. Not because I’m being accused, but because I’m being accused by a friend. It hurts. Where I thought strength prevailed, mistrust set in to destroy. I had hoped I would be defended – that the innocence behind my actions would be recognized. But it was not to be.

I sit and wonder. Don’t they even realize how much I love them? Can’t they see what this friendship means to me? Don’t they know that I would never intentionally hurt them? I find myself growing indignant at this lack of trust. Frustration sets in as I recount the sacrifices that I’ve made to make this friendship what it is and I begin to realize that they’ve gone unnoticed. What a hollow feeling it is to be taken for granted.

And suddenly I want to walk away and forget the whole thing. The indignation is growing. How could they? Don’t I mean anything to them? My mind is made up. I don’t have to put up with this. If they don’t appreciate me then I’ll find someone who does.

But wait.

Dear Lord, how blind I’ve been.

This isn’t what You’ve taught me – it isn’t what You’ve shown me. I’ve accused You. I’ve mistrusted You. I’ve doubted that You love me. I’ve questioned Your actions and believed that You desired to make me miserable. I’ve taken Your sacrifices for granted and pushed You away in my own selfishness. And yet, here You are.

In all of this, You’ve never left. You’ve stood by my side and defended me. Me. The one who accused You. You see my tears fall and comfort me in my distress. You listen to my troubles and rejoice in my happiness. You provide for my needs and shower me with gifts and blessings. You love me, even when I’m not lovable. You love me perfectly.

And I wonder, how can I say I love anyone if I run away the moment that they doubt me? Is that really love? Because it’s one thing to be friends – friendships fail – but the love that the Bible speaks of endures forever¹.

Burying Faults –
And I can’t deny that my friends don’t always love me perfectly. Their love for me is often crippled by jealousy or weakened by insecurities. But hey! I’m not a saint here either! And you know, if we actually love one another, we’ll look past that.

“Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends.” -Henry Ward Beecher

So when life is easy, friendships are smooth, and I smile and tell my girls that I love them, I want to remember that it’s just as true when there are bumps in the road. Why? Because with my selfish, insecure heart, I have given Christ every reason to run out on me, and yet He hasn’t. Because He loves me – He really loves me. And I want to love others in the same way. I need to love others in the same way.

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” -1 John 4:11

Imperfect Love –
Still, I have a lot of work to do. I wish to love perfectly, as Christ loves me, but I find that my love is tainted by selfish ambition and jealousy. My own human nature shows through. I continue to strive at overcoming these greedy tendencies and – through the help of God and His word – daily work at loving perfectly.

And in the end, I cannot promise my friends that I will love them perfectly, but I can promise them that I will do my best to strive for that perfection. Hopefully they are willing to see past my mistakes and I pray for a willing heart to always do the same for them.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8

¹1 Corinthians 13:7

12 comments

  1. Joy S. says:

    This is so true. In our selfishness, we accuse God and accuse our loved ones thinking we are the victims here. But really, we’re all in the same boat. We’ve all failed miserably in our relationships, falling short of the glory of God. And yet, the Lord is good to grant grace. He loves us beyond anything we can imagine, and He continues to be here for us. It’s good to be reminded of the example we must follow. Thanks.

    • Well said, Joy! We’re all in the same boat here… the best we can do is strive for perfection in our love, but we must always remember that we do not love perfectly and we should never expect others to love us perfectly either. We can’t. Not in this imperfect body, anyway. Some day, when we are in His presence, we will know what it is to possess this perfect love and we will better understand the perfect love that He has for us. What a marvelous thing to look forward to! 🙂
      Thanks for reading, friend(:

  2. Julie Waldvogel says:

    This is a great post. I follow Lies Young Women Believe and I saw your post for today (DEC.1). It was great and I also like d this one too. Thanks!

    • Thank you, Julie! 🙂 I was happy this morning when I discovered that Erin had posted on love, since I had just finished writing this post yesterday and my thoughts on the topic where fresh in my mind. 🙂

  3. Praise God for your transparency. It’s not always easy sharing our struggles and shortcomings with others, but when we do we are blessed for it (James 5:16). I pray for restoration in your friendship and that the others involved will see this as an opportunity to reflect upon their own hearts as you have. Take comfort in Jesus, as He was not only accused and betrayed, but accused and betrayed by a friend. He knows the pain you feel 🙂

    • Thank you for your prayers and encouragement, Stephanie. I really appreciate it. I have been finding comfort in the fact that Jesus knows the pain I feel… I would think that He knows it even better than I do in fact, as His betrayal was a much greater treachery.
      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  4. Alison says:

    I know what you’re going through… I’ve been going through a tough time with one of my friends, and it sounds a lot like what you’ve been through recently! She’s accusing me of saying and doing things that I totally do not mean. It really hurts. But what you said about us doing the exact same thing to God, and yet He loves us anyway, has really convicted me!! Thanks so much for writing and sharing your thoughts! I can do all things through Christ, and I’m going to love my friend anyway. =) Thanks again!

  5. Alison says:

    First of all, I love the red in your design for Christmas!

    Re: the post, this is always a testing ground for me. The bait of satan! Offense creates a wedge that only heals as we bring it to God and realize how much He puts on the line for us each day. Food for thought. Thanks!

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